Once a Jock...

Like my grandma always said, growing old won’t make you mean and nasty.

People will say some old lady got ornery because that’s just the way old people are. Not true. Old age has nothing to do with it. If you’re mean and nasty when you’re young, you’re going to be that way when you’re old.

In other words, young people who are mean and nasty (almost always) grow up to be old people who are mean and nasty.

Exactly, Gram. Just like jocks.

When they’re little and excelling at sports, they’re spoiled and obnoxious. And everybody’s OK with that because they’re winning games. Their parents and coaches even cultivate their bad behavior by continually indulging them when they should be punishing them. So they know they can get away with dastardly deeds that would get the President of the Chess Club grounded for the rest of his life. And jocks behave accordingly as they move from high school to college to professional sports. Then what happens?

Then the spoiled, obnoxious little boys become spoiled, obnoxious grown men. But now, they’re obscenely overpaid professional athletes. Growing old hasn’t changed them much --except now they’re getting big paychecks to play sports.

Because they’re still jocks, though, they still think the whole world revolves around them. They still think they can do whatever they want and get away with it. And they can. Most of the time, anyway. But every now and then, something happens to expose the inherent injustices and inequities in this cliquey Jockworld.

Every now and then, a turd will float to the top for all to see.

Latest turd, uh, case in point: Richie Incognito, left guard of the Miami Dolphins.

According to widespread media reports, Incognito harassed new teammate Jonathan Martin so badly that Martin had to leave the football team under emotional duress.

Incognito also left the team, but his departure was an involuntary one. The Dolphins suspended him indefinitely.

At this point, no one knows for sure what Incognito did to send Martin over the edge into The PTSD Zone. But pick a number. There seemed to be no limits to the indignities Incognito inflected on his teammate, both on and off the field.

Richie Iggy’s blitz on Martin ran the gamet from incessant name-calling (Big Weirdo) to racist and threatening messages (via text messaging and voice mail). There were also reports that Martin was being coerced into paying $15,000 for some trip to Vegas he never got to attend. Now this kind of egregious mistreatment of a fellow football player seems bad enough, right?

It isn’t, though.

What’s far worse is that too many guys -- athletes and non-athletes alike -- don’t view Incognito’s bad behavior towards Martin as egregious mistreatment. It’s just a guy thing.

Once again, a jock is getting excused for his dastardly deeds. Incognito’s deplorable behavior has been downsized to another harmless initiation of “locker room culture” or “rough behavior.” You know, typical bullying that happens in high school. Or a little good-natured hazing that takes place in the basements of frat houses. The usual boys-will-be-boys stuff. Just guys messin’ with other guys. Come on, it’s just a little horseplay...

From the talking heads at ESPNTV and talk radio to water cooler commentators in countless offices, the guys keep finding ways to excuse this bully’s bad behavior.

The guys keep giving this bully a free pass because he’s with the NFL.

Even the other football players who try to defend their buddy Richie keep hitting the same wall of denial. They give these interviews, they try to be positive, but they can’t.

They all start out with a laundry list of Incognito’s transgressions -- really bad offenses that should have kept him locked up and ostracized from any pro-sports. But then, well, come on. They like him, they really like him.

Yeah, Richie’s had some problems with anger management in the past. He’s gotten into trouble with drugs and alcohol. He’s had his share of bar fights, assaults, DWI’s, and what-not. But that’s behind him now. At least, he keeps trying. He’s a good guy.

A good guy? Earth to NFL: a good guy wouldn’t relentlessly inflict such mental, emotional, and physical harm on others the way your Richie has. A good guy wouldn’t treat Jonathan Martin the way Richie Incognito did.

I wasn’t there when these incidents took place, but I can tell you exactly what happened. I know the culture and the mindset of turds like Incognito only too well. Here was the real problem: Jonathan Martin was different; he had a brain and he like to use it.


Before I even researched Martin’s background, I knew he was intelligent. I also knew how much of a problem that could be in Jockworld. Let’s face it, intelligent guys don’t last long in the NFL because the other football players are too stupid to appreciate or understand intelligence. Poor Martin IS intelligent. He has been blessed with brains. Both his parents attended Harvard. Had he chosen to go there (instead of Stanford), he would have been the fourth generation of his family to attend Harvard.

For simpletons like Incognito, intelligence = GAY. And if you’re GAY, you’re not a real man. Here was Martin, a reflective scholar of Greek and Roman classics (GAY!) If Martin had stayed at Stanford and not left to pursue the siren song of the NFL, he would have completed his degree in ancient history(GAY!)

Now Martin is saying he’d like to go to law school (LAWYER!  NOT GAY, but still not MANLY good!)

Far worse for Incognito was Martin’s gentlemanly demeanor. Martin was also a quiet and kindly soul who didn’t like the booze and broads (GAY!) The kind of guy who’d rather stay in and read a good book than fly off to Vegas (GAYER!) The kind of guy who’d refuse a lap dance because it demeans and objectifies women (GAYEST!)

In Jockworld, intelligence + introversion + respect for women = GAY.

And GAY = WEAK! WEAK! WEAK!

So Incognito’s assignment, in a nutshell, was to take the Gay away and turn Martin back into a regular guy -- the kind of guy he was before he got all quiet and weak and educated.

I doubt if Richie Iggy came up with this de-Gaying plan all by himself, though. He’s not that smart. No, Incognito was probably on a mission devised by his coaches and handlers. He was supposed to “toughen up” his new teammate. Martin was just too new, too weak, too different.

So he was supposed to keep Martin from being so “different.” Get him to stop reading all those educational books and stop acting so, uh, so educated. (Makes the other guys on the team look dumber than they already are.) Get Martin out to some strip clubs once in a while. Somehow, get the Gay out of him...
because the homophobic league doesn’t like GAY.

Of course, the league also doesn’t like too many ethnic minorities or bi-racial players (like Martin) on its teams, either. That’s not the real problem, though. That’s not what Richie Iggy’s personal attack against Martin was about, either. IT'S NOT A BULLY THING, IT’S A JOCK THING!

No doubt bullying, hazing, and varying degrees of abuse were involved here. But these different forms of harassment all evolved from a pervasive jock culture.

Incognito’s assaults -- complete with racism, sexism and homophobia -- were byproducts of the dysfunctional veneration of him as sports hero.

With this form of hero-worship, unfortunately, even losers who win games get to be gods...until they get sued.

The big question that no one’s asking, however, has to do with the NFL’s judgement. Why would any athletic organization choose an athlete like Richie Iggy with such a raging personality disorder to “toughen up” another athlete like Martin?

As early as 2003/2004, Incognito’s handlers at the University of Nebraska sent him to the Mennninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas. That’s no junior college, that’s a private treatment center for behavioral and psychiatric problems. He had to go. If he would have refused, he would have been kicked off the football team. As it turned out, Incognito did get reinstated, then got suspended from the team for another violation, anyway.

He’s living proof the old “Boys will be boys” adage should be changed to “Let sociopaths bloom where they may.”

Meanwhile, the “boosters”-- parents, teachers, coaches, and fans -- are still doing everything they can to keep Jockworld alive and well. They’re still looking the other way when jocks beat up scrawny kids who can’t fight back. They’re still laughing when jocks play grab-ass or dump ice water down backs of shy girls. They’re still letting the jocks play in the big games by ignoring or fixing the failing grades that should have disqualified them from play. In fact, they’ve been encouraging and enabling their little athletic gods to believe they can do no wrong for so long that these jocks actually believe it. How sad.

Richie Iggy should be having his rude awakening about now. He isn’t. Too bad. As long as his league and his culture keep protecting him, he’s going to live out his final years as a clueless, souless, stupid jock.

Go, team!